MESSAGES

[kingmakereffect]

If you have something to ask the Kingmaker about over the phone, this is where it goes! The Kingmaker will answer the phone as soon as he's available. There isn't an option to leave a message on his voicemail, but the Kingmaker will take your calls at almost any hour of the day.

Your smartphones will only connect to the Kingmaker. There is no option to dial a number, instead it will connect automatically to his phone.

Comments are screened for privacy; no listening in on each other's private conversations without permission, after all.

Comments

[kingmakereffect]

That depends on why you're asking.

[captainobnoxious]

I was just wondering if you'd like to play a game with us? We're getting together to play truth or dare and it's gonna be a lot of fun, apparently.

["Apparently" because she's never played it.]

You don't have to come down from your vending machine throne or anything, but it'd be nice to get to know you a little more.

[kingmakereffect]

Vending machine...?

[never mind, HE DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW...]

While I do appreciate the offer, I'll sit this one out. Have fun.

[That's actually not sarcastic.]

[captainobnoxious]

[Awww.]

We will! Probably. We're gonna have bombshell cook food for everyone as their punishment if they don't want to do the dare.

[they're bad people. total assholes.]

-- Actually, speaking of punishments, what is the punishment for sleeping outside our rooms? It's not death, right?

[kingmakereffect]

Do you want to risk it and find out? It would be better if you didn't.

[captainobnoxious]

You saying that really makes me want to try though, so I just want to know if I'll die from it or if I'll just get something taken from me besides my life.

[she wants to TRY dammit]

[kingmakereffect]

...You'd be much better off not trying.

[captainobnoxious]

I'm gonna try. Not now, because I have truth or dare tomorrow and honestly I'm pretty sure I'm not getting any sleep anyway, but I'll try sometime.

[sigrun's got Shit To Do tomorrow]

Why does the incinerator take so long to heat up? I've been standing here for waaaay longer than I feel like I should be standing here to burn some trash.

[kingmakereffect]

Alright, if you really want to. But you'll regret it.

As for the incinerator... Well, that's just an unfortunate flaw to the design. It's not anything I can fix.

[captainobnoxious]

[Who can say if she really will regret it. Who can say.]

Huh. I thought you were gonna tell me that it wasn't important. [That's pleasant.] That's fine though, I'm just going to start a fire in here instead of waiting for it next time.

[please]

[kingmakereffect]

Please don't do that... The incinerator takes awhile to get going, but bring a book or something and it'll be fine.

...What are you burning in there anyway?

[LIKE THIS JUST OCCURRED TO HIM]

[captainobnoxious]

[KINGMAKER, PLEASE.]

Books are boring, if possibly valuable. And it's just trash. A bag that is now woefully empty of delicious oily chips. Your vending machine thing is amazing with what it pops out, maker, but I've got my own theories on that.

[kingmakereffect]

You could just use the trash cans. I make sure the bags are replaced every night.

[AND THE LESS HE HEARS ABOUT THE THEORIES THE BETTER probably??]

[captainobnoxious]

It's better just to burn it and get it over with.

[So.]

How is it you do all this stuff? And, if you don't mind answering a similar question, is your preferred path through the vents or from the vending machine itself?

[kingmakereffect]

How I do all of this isn't important. You can tell your fellow Survivors that staying up all night trying to catch me won't work either.

[captainobnoxious]

I'll let dilly-dally know. He's so sure that you come down the metal doors, but I'm still betting on you being a little human that lives in the vending machine.

[So that's like... Another two questions answered...]

I mean, it's not the weirdest thing I've seen or heard, right?

[kingmakereffect]

Conscious is one of your fellow Survivors, so I suppose it isn't...

[captainobnoxious]

That's the bird, right?

[kingmakereffect]

...Yes, that's the bird.

[captainobnoxious]

[You are such a patient person, Kingmaker. You don't deserve this.]

So yeah! Not too strange at all! [tiny human in a vending machine..........] Now, are you a single tiny human, a collection of tiny humans, or about my size?

[kingmakereffect]

[SIIIIIIGH]

I'm one normal-sized human. I'm a little shorter than you, though.

[captainobnoxious]

[YOU KNOW, SHE REALLY DOES LIKE YOU, KINGMAKER. YOU'RE KIND OF FUN. AND POLITE. YOU PUT UP WITH HER.

THIS IS WHAT IT GETS YOU. She is kind of pleased to know she's taller than him though.]

And you're the only person that's keeping tabs on us? You don't have an army of little people keeping an eye on us for you, putting coins places, things like that? Taking out our trash and all?

[kingmakereffect]

[THAT ISN'T A GOOD THING IS IT...]

No, I don't have an army of tiny humans doing that. It might be kind of amusing, but I can assure you I'm doing this all on my own.

[captainobnoxious]

[Let's just say that late night chats are going to be a usual.]

That's more impressive than anything. So you're definitely, definitely working totally solo. I'll take your word on that, but poor dilly-dally's gonna be sad to hear it.

[and both her theories are down the drain??? why can't you be a tiny human, kingmaker. or willy wonka.]

How long have you been here for? And have you always been alone?

[kingmakereffect]

I'd prefer one question at a time, you know... but I suppose I can answer those two.

I don't know how long I've been here. I haven't always been alone though.