MESSAGES

[kingmakereffect]

If you have something to ask the Kingmaker about over the phone, this is where it goes! The Kingmaker will answer the phone as soon as he's available. There isn't an option to leave a message on his voicemail, but the Kingmaker will take your calls at almost any hour of the day.

Your smartphones will only connect to the Kingmaker. There is no option to dial a number, instead it will connect automatically to his phone.

Comments are screened for privacy; no listening in on each other's private conversations without permission, after all.

Comments

[captainobnoxious]

[KINGMAKER, PLEASE.]

Books are boring, if possibly valuable. And it's just trash. A bag that is now woefully empty of delicious oily chips. Your vending machine thing is amazing with what it pops out, maker, but I've got my own theories on that.

[kingmakereffect]

You could just use the trash cans. I make sure the bags are replaced every night.

[AND THE LESS HE HEARS ABOUT THE THEORIES THE BETTER probably??]

[captainobnoxious]

It's better just to burn it and get it over with.

[So.]

How is it you do all this stuff? And, if you don't mind answering a similar question, is your preferred path through the vents or from the vending machine itself?

[kingmakereffect]

How I do all of this isn't important. You can tell your fellow Survivors that staying up all night trying to catch me won't work either.

[captainobnoxious]

I'll let dilly-dally know. He's so sure that you come down the metal doors, but I'm still betting on you being a little human that lives in the vending machine.

[So that's like... Another two questions answered...]

I mean, it's not the weirdest thing I've seen or heard, right?

[kingmakereffect]

Conscious is one of your fellow Survivors, so I suppose it isn't...

[captainobnoxious]

That's the bird, right?

[kingmakereffect]

...Yes, that's the bird.

[captainobnoxious]

[You are such a patient person, Kingmaker. You don't deserve this.]

So yeah! Not too strange at all! [tiny human in a vending machine..........] Now, are you a single tiny human, a collection of tiny humans, or about my size?

[kingmakereffect]

[SIIIIIIGH]

I'm one normal-sized human. I'm a little shorter than you, though.

[captainobnoxious]

[YOU KNOW, SHE REALLY DOES LIKE YOU, KINGMAKER. YOU'RE KIND OF FUN. AND POLITE. YOU PUT UP WITH HER.

THIS IS WHAT IT GETS YOU. She is kind of pleased to know she's taller than him though.]

And you're the only person that's keeping tabs on us? You don't have an army of little people keeping an eye on us for you, putting coins places, things like that? Taking out our trash and all?

[kingmakereffect]

[THAT ISN'T A GOOD THING IS IT...]

No, I don't have an army of tiny humans doing that. It might be kind of amusing, but I can assure you I'm doing this all on my own.

[captainobnoxious]

[Let's just say that late night chats are going to be a usual.]

That's more impressive than anything. So you're definitely, definitely working totally solo. I'll take your word on that, but poor dilly-dally's gonna be sad to hear it.

[and both her theories are down the drain??? why can't you be a tiny human, kingmaker. or willy wonka.]

How long have you been here for? And have you always been alone?

[kingmakereffect]

I'd prefer one question at a time, you know... but I suppose I can answer those two.

I don't know how long I've been here. I haven't always been alone though.

[captainobnoxious]

[This is why she's sure you like her, Kingmaker.]

They went hand in hand, so it's fine. [... that's kinda sad tho.] So you had people here? Just for like, clarification.

[kingmakereffect]

That's not really any of your concern, but I was with others at one point.

[captainobnoxious]

Hey, I just thought it was kind of sad that you had people and then you didn't. Guess you must not feel very lonely anymore.

[That probably means the question of "what happened to them" is off the table though. Maybe his world got destroyed too. That's a good guess.]

My place is the same though. You know a lot of people, and then suddenly you're the only one left. It's sad, but it's how we've accepted our lives to be.

[kingmakereffect]

Well, it certainly is lively around here now.

[He's quiet for a moment.]

I don't know very much about your world. Perhaps you should tell me more sometime.

[captainobnoxious]

Well, if you want, but honestly it's not a very happy tale.

[Like, seriously. The best part is when she's born and that isn't for fifty years from the start.]

So as long as you don't mind that, I'll take on questions for a change. Whenever you want.

[kingmakereffect]

Hmm, maybe I'll take you up on that the next time you contact me.

[Because apparently contacting you first is not a thing???]

[captainobnoxious]

[kingmaker please??? girls don't like being the chasers all the time u know if ur interested show it back]

I didn't take you to be the shy type, maker, but alright. You have a good night and don't stay up too much longer.

[Like she's any better.]